'Describe your life in one word?'

I was away on a business trip recently and went for a meal with two work friends to a Greek restaurant . They're having an affair, does that word still get used? Okay, they're fucking.

I was unfortunate enough to also be staying in the hotel room next to them. Hotel walls aren't as thick as they should be. I put my ipod on and listened to the Stern Show (Sal the Stockbrokers wife has an emotional friend and Big Foot and Blue Iris played the What's in my ass game) but I could still hear fucking going on next door. The sound of fucking kept me awake till the early hours. Then after they'd finished, the sound of no fucking kept me awake till the morning.

Back to the Greek restaurant, my male friend, I'll call him Eric the Midget, to protect is identity, posed this question.

'Describe your life in one word?'

I can't remember there words, I can remember mine, and it wasn't very good.

I've thought of a better one now and I'm dying for the conversation to come up again, but because of the circumstances I don't think it will. Shame.

My word...

Shipwrecked.